I'M HILARIOUS
raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

gusmen:

“i don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day in the internet

spookyshire:

harryhickey:

MOZZARELLA STICKS ARE GROSS

image

(Source: danvsphil)

ernbarassing:

If one of my favorite singers crowd surfed at a concert I would just carry them away to my house

(Source: ernbarassing)

pilgrimkitty:

unbucaneve:

jenesaispourquoi:

professorsparklepants:

Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?

the prof asks the important questions.

Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD!!!

Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.

elsabeyondarendelle:

I didn’t know this origin story, but it makes me happy on so many levels.

rodneykong:

u can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday right

(Source: bobbyhoying)

hungarian:

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

phaserburn:

My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

(Source: fourwheeldevice)